listening to music. I wove my body between each gilded string. Think of sticking your fingers into vent holes. That's how I did.
It can be lonely when you aren't human enough. Either that, or I'm undergoing fasciation. Roughly what should be a human, but everyone can tell something is not quite right if they look at me longer than two minutes.
All the time I feel that not only am I missing some important parts of being a human being, but there is something added that was not supposed to be there.
What I lack
For now, I have ears like yours, eyes like yours, a tongue like yours. But my mother tongue is not my mother's tongue. Haha, it's pretty frustrating! Something always gets lost in translation.
So I can love people
in an alien way. I don't speak your language. I don't know if I feel more sorry for you or for myself about this.
I lack a social adhesive. I must pretend around strangers and acquaintances, though I have no interest in them, just so they pass me by and do not notice signs of my genetic mutation. With friends, I like them well enough, but I don't know... sometimes I look at you lovely faces and wonder what on earth I am (a dog trying to be a human being). Sometimes I look at you people I've embraced and feel that you're actually strangers. It's a very sad thing to sit near someone so dear to you, only to glance at her and feel a deep unease and unfamiliarity. It always passes, but it's so sad!
What is there that should not be there
Spiritual sensitivity. I have these dreams, but they're quite useless. God could not find me on the main road. I still wonder if He sent that coachman, that older gentleman outside of human bounds. Either way, he was nice to me. Maybe God looked at me, the extragenetic mistake without a known language, and knew that I would only find my way through equally strange means.
Everything seems meaningful. It scares me. I think every prophet character should be written to be scared.
I hear the jingling of my keys in my hand, and I feel the canine skull overlaid onto mine. Like the tag on a dog's collar, I think. Werewolf. Huh.